So this is my first post. This won't be a regular thing for me as i'm not regular, but here it goes.
So I'm lying in bed, and like most nights my brain kicks in like overtime. I start thinking about my Beautiful wife and her brothers. I wonder if she wishes she was closer to them than she is? I don't know the answer, so when I finally get home I'm going to ask her. Because I started on that path it makes me think of my own brothers. I have 3. 2 from my brother and one from my mother. I haven't spoken to my 2 brothers on my dad side for many years. and now that i'm thinking of it its been 13 years. Thinking about this stuff makes me wonder why i don't care too find and contact them. I mean i should right? they are after all my brothers. I should care but I don't. I'm sure one day i'll think back and wish I had contacted them, but right now it just isn't something I feel needs to be done. This scares me, because I told my self once that I would never let myself become my father. and yet here i am ignoring the fact that i have 2 brothers out there that i don't know. It is not there fault. but it doesn't stop with them, i just about ignore my dads side of my family! with the exception of my wonderful cousin I don't talk to anyone. I should work on that. I need to be better then he is or ever was.
Tell me why do these damn thoughts happen when your trying to go to sleep. they never happen during the day when you can deal with them properly. is it guilt? maybe. i have heard that guilt will keep you awake. I don't know but it pisses me off. I'm in a foriegn cournty and need to sleep.
ok i'm going to attempt at the whole sleeping thing again, maybe now that i've laid it out there I will be successful. only time will tell.
